"Would you like a solution, or simply support"? One of my biggest weaknesses as a man and husband is that I often provide solutions when my wife, kids, clients, and friends are seeking support. My wife taught me a lesson that has not only changed our marriage but our life. I pride myself in always having actionable steps towards a solution for whatever is happening. I want to take away any worry, sadness, confusion, heart ache etc. I'm a solver and servant. Instead of a solution sometimes my wife is asking for support. She is asking me to be present with her. She is looking to see if she is heard. Many times , I fall back on my basic human nature. Solve the problem, fight the bad guy, and right all the wrongs. After years of misunderstanding my best friend who just so happens to be my wife I have found one phrase that allows us to come to common ground. "My love, would you like a solution or simply support?". We both understand what it means, we both have learned that there is a difference between solutions and support for her and I. This phrase has helped me any every aspect of my life. The lesson for you is this.... Sometimes, you have the very best of intentions but you plan, talk, or act first. It's not about you, it's about them. Listen, ask questions, and try understand their reality. Once they are finished ask the simple question. "Would you like a solution or just my support?" It proves that no matter what they answer, you are present in the moment with them, they matter, and that what they actually need from you in that moment matters. Try it out this week and let me know what impact it makes!